Mystery of the Korean Resturant Solved

I had a personal mystery surrounding Korean resturants. It all started back in Seattle before I came over here to Korea. My neighborhood borders a Korean neighborhood with lots of Korean resturants and more importantly Korean barbeques. Each time I drove past these resturants, (which are usually in shady strip malls and share the parking lots with nail saloons, adult "bookstores," places where women exercise their First Amendment Right to dance without shirts, checking cashing places, hmm I guess that is why my condo was cheap. :) and your occasional shopping mall church) I would see lots of cars parked outside and front of this resturant but I rarely, if ever, saw any people sitting down or moving about in the resturant. I could never figure it out. It bothered me, could there be a savage robbery, a mass suicide or what? My inquiring and morbid curiosity raged on as I left Seattle.

Finally after about six months and a couple of visits to Korean barbeque resturants, I put two and two together and "solved" the mystery. When you go to a Korean resturant you go up to a buffet style type table and there is tons of meat and other goodies (chicken, beef and no dog!! at least that is what I am told and yes kimchi that wonderful pickled cabbage that has made the smell of Korea memorable for myself and many other Soldiers and Officers). Once you get your food you return back to your table, which is about the size of the kids table in a dentist or doctor's office. There is an mini oven cut out in the center of the table. You throw all of your meat on this mini oven and it cooks. The problem with the table is there are no chairs and you sit on the floor. Aha!!!! (que imaginary yellow light bulb appearing above my head and flickering on as I sit cramped on the floor my legs sticking straight out underneath the table among Koreans eating barbeque) there was no axe murder or robbery occurring at those Korean barbeque places in Seattle. It was just bunch of Koreans sitting on the floor enjoying their barbeque, kimchi and soju. That is why I could never see anyone in the resturant. Although the food in these places is very good, it is not worth sitting on the floor for it, especially when you are tall. Chairs have been around for a while. I appreciate that the Koreans dined without chairs for thousands of years. However, we now have them and they should be used!!

The Fuzzy Private

As I have said countless times, nothing in Korea surprises me anymore. As you all you who read this know, I rarely talk about work unless it involves something outragous and off the wall. Here is another highly amusing situation.

I placed three more soldiers in pre-trial confinement (Army jail) this past week for various sorts of bad behavior. They all came out of my famed Criminal Company. It is a Chemical Company but the name Criminal Company sticks. The following is a conversation between a Private ("PVT") E-1 and an E-6 "Staff Sergeant"/NCO. The NCO noticed the PVT texting on his his cell phone while in uniform and told him he could not do that. Here is what transpired.

NCO: Hey PVT you aren't supposed to be texting and talking at the same time." Private keeps walking.
NCO: Hey PVT did you hear me!@
PVT: Yeah I heard you SGT but I am not listening to you.
NCO: (Even angrier)walks over and closes said phone and hands it back to the Private and says"Have a nice day Solider!"
PVT: (After angerly throwing down his phone) says: "You are lucky I did not break my damn phone or s!@# would pop off!"
NCO: What did you say to me?! and what do you mean s!#t would pop off ?
PVT: "S!@#! would pop off." I am fuzzy private ( in the Army we have velcro rank now and all E-1 do not wear rank and yes you lose rank for stellar performances such as this one) for a reason. Other NCOs tried this s!@# I wasn't havin any of it!!"

I should also add on that the Fuzzy Private's friend/co-criminal who is also in jail, told the fuzzy private that if the fuzzy private went to CID (Army detectives and crime solvers) and made up a story that yet another Solider (who is also in jail with these other two) sold him drugs, that the Fuzzy Private's friend would pay him $500. Well the Fuzzy Private did not get paid so the Fuzzy Private went back to CID and said that he made up the story about the other soldier selling him drugs. Ah yes the Land of the Morning Calm.

Monsoons and Water cannons

Another crazy week has come and gone here in Korea. Monsoon/typhoon season is finally upon us here at Camp Hovey. It was a month late. Mother nature was a bit late in clensing the green hills with her wrath of water. Imagine turning the heat on in your house to 90 degrees, jumping in and out of the shower several times a day. That is what Korea feels like right now. On top of that the Adishady have turned into Adishi Andretti in their taxi cabs, buses and even their Primo's Pizza and Popeye's Chicken delivery cars. (See pictures below of these things) I should add that both of these cars are micro type cars. If you sneeze next to it, it will likely tip over. One of them even has a roll cage in it (I think it is the Primo's Pizza vehicle that has the roll bar in it). It is only a matter of time before Adishi Andretti takes the Hovey cut (a very norrow windy road up to where I work and live) too fast and puts his beloved yellow micro car into the raging creek.

In other crazy news, about 200 anti-American Korean protestors took to the streets of TDC last week, preventing Joe from going to his favorite place, the Ville. Not to be outdown the Merchant's Association (aka Ajima with the strong pimp hand and her hired muscle) also took to the streets to protest the Korean hippies. There were about 50 Merchant Association folks. The two sides converged and The Korean National Police, turned two water cannons on the Merchants to prevent any trouble. It was awful nice of them to take water for Joe. I have included the link to the story right here. www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=55371&archive=true

In other somewhat sad yet good news for him, my esteemed battle buddy and Ville transformationist is riding that big vine in the sky home on Tuesday so this weekend will be his last in the Ville. It will not be the same without him. I wish him the best as he gets set to travel to Iraq. As he says, I hope Mother Nature locks it up for him on this monsoon business as he departs Korea. Gods be my friend.

An Evening with Jimmy

Okay, I have had comments that my last entry was too "deep." As I have said before I can't make the stuff up that I write about. Last night was no different. After a long day of briefings at the flag pole (Army speak for where guys with Stars on their shirts hang out and a place I would rather not spend my time) my battle buddy made good on his promise to introduce me to Jimmy. Jimmy runs the local VFW (Veterens of Foreign Wars) post outside the gate near the flag pole.

The VFW is a place for Joe past and present to gather and drink. Part of membership is that you have to had fought in a foreign war. Our mere presence in Korea counts. Jimmy's VFW is no different. As you walk in the wall is dotted with pictures of commanders, awards news paper clippings, a big portrait of Jimmy and of course a Big Indian Head. In the Army you get a patch for your unit. Well in Korea the 2nd Infantry Division is here. Our patch is a black shield with the Indian head on it. Jimmy's shop has one of these mounted on the wall. After showing my membership card (membership is $10.00 yearly and you get a $1 off all beers etc. what a great deal) You also do not have to tell people not to touch your coat in here either. But I digress. Jimmy is a true American hero of mine. He was orphaned during the Korean conflict and was taken in by a Soldier and wife. Since then he is a fixture of 2ID. He stands up for Soldiers and puts the screws on any Adishady who attempts to rip off the Soldier. When he has had few beers he puts on an old World War II German helmet and goes through the streets of Oejanbu (Wejanbu) putting the screws on adishady who do not like Americans. When I told him that our gate was blocked (more protesters again!!!) and that Joe was locked on post like a caged animal he got fired up. He said "!@#@ commies." If U.S. leave Korea we all be communists." I am sure to have more Jimmisms for sure. A good time was had by all.

It's Been a While

Wow,

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. I was able to leave the Land of the Morning Calm and Adishady for yet another TDY or as my friends call it a corporate junket. Although this was no ordinary junket. I was able to travel back to the United States for the first time in over seven months. I visited the Nation's Capitol. It was great to visit my friend Lincoln. I can also never get over the Washington Monument. It does not seem that large as you sweep past it as you touch down at Reagan National Airport. Standing next to it, however made me seem that much smaller. Its' ring of flags was swallowed into blue as there was not a cloud in the sky that day. As I strolled through city I also stopped off at my old law school. Its grey building had not changed in the six years since I visited it. The nearby Metro stop elevator was still broken as always and of course there was grafitti. Memories of long ago flooded back for me. It is crazy to think that it has been almost 10 years since I started law school. It is funny to look back and remember that I thought that law school was the most challenging thing in my life. Now that I am on the cusp of yet another deployment, I laugh at such a thought. It is amazing how the passing of time makes one grow up in a sense.

In addition to recapturing the sites of the capitol, and my time in law school, I was able to reconnect with friends old and new. It was also great to see my parents and spend time with them. I am reminded each time I see them how lucky and blessed I am with my life. My brother and his wife also welcomed a new baby into this world. I am now a proud uncle. There will be another Barry boy. Look out. I am meloncholy at the thought of deploying to an unknown land. For a second time I will miss a couple of weddings, birthdays, Christmas with my family and have to delay starting any meaningful relationship for at least another six months. They say timing is everything. However, each time I am able to spend with these special people, I am quickly reminded of why I do what it is I do.